The popular amateur radio forum website iHam
announced today that it has received a patent for a recycling technology developed by their staff over the past several years. The proprietary process enables iHam staff to turn fecal matter into text which is then posted on their website in the form of an article. The technology eliminates the need for humans to author articles, a process which requires time and effort. It also eliminates the need for editors to review the material, reject bad articles, and correct mistakes, misinformation, and mispellings in articles. iHam staff indicated that they can "have anyone be an editor now, even those without any editing inclination or experience", noting that feces can be fed into the system and one merely pushes a button for the article text to appear on the iHam website.
Rival forum website QRM is expected to file a lawsuit to block the patent citing prior art by providing articles from its website dating back to 2003. One insider familiar with QRM's process I spoke with on the condition of anonymity and a free case of Yuengling Lager stated that a QRM lawsuit would be unsuccesful. "Their technology is quite different from iHam's." he said. "Although their process also recycles fecal material, they use monkeys in a room to fling it onto a whiteboard to form the article text. iHam's process is much more high tech and efficient. I think you can see the difference in the quality of articles when comparing iHam to QRM. QRM has had only limited and sporadic success with its technique, but iHam has had its patented technology work consistently for the past several years."
It's been reported that several cable news networks, a UNIX operating system intellectual property litigation firm, and a propagation prediction report are interested in licensing and using the technology. However, even without merit, the lawsuit may delay iHam's plan to monetize the patent, the proceeds of which have been slated to buy more colors and modern fonts for the popular website.
The amateur radio advocacy group Radio Amateur Remembrance League (RARL) may also be jumping into the fray and is rumored to be examining the patent to see if it infringes on material they had used previously for a regulation by bandwidth proposal and by a digital subcommittee that rubber-stamped a popular HF email standard. When asked about their position on the patent, Worldcommunications Online responded that their statement would be online in the February 2010 issue which was going to press next week and slated for uploading to their website in a month and a half.
The patent has certainly created a lot of noise in amateur radio and is starting out 2010 with a bang. Stay tuned.
(After coming to my house and eating all my crackers and licorice, The K3NG Report legal team has informed me that I have to tell all viewers that the above story is fictional satire, and not a real news story. The names have been changed to protect the guilty and any resemblance to any organizations or websites, living or dead, is purely intentional. There is no confidential informant and I haven't gotten anyone to talk with a free case of beer. Actually, there were several cases of beer and it was my legal team drinking it and doing a lot of talking. I'm told only political TV networks pretending to be news channels are allowed to create news articles that are totally fictional. No animals were injured in the making of this blog article, however the egos of several amateur radio operators may be bruised when reading it. I'm told that's OK.)